Making Amends

"The source of everything, is in our eyes.

I see the good in yours, seeing the good in mine."

~Sarah Slean

Sometimes, in my quest to be a good parent, I make a mistake.
Sometimes, in spite of all that I know, I do or say the wrong thing to my children.

I know the moment is coming before it even happens, I feel my patience thinning, for whatever reason, and instead of lovingly responding to my child, I do that ugly, reactive thing instead.

Those moments are so unpleasant! But, after I am able to collect my true self, I realize that I need to make amends. The benefits of apologizing to your child are numerous; it let's them know that you aren't perfect (which they sometimes believe in childhood), it teaches them conflict resolution, loving communication, and so on.

But here's the really amazing thing about apologizing to your child; they always forgive you.

Completely.

When I look into my son's eyes, hold him close, and say "I'm sorry that I...," he says, with such love and understanding, "That's okay."

I can't really explain what a gift that can be to a parent, who is really trying their best, but occasionally makes a mistake! When I think of the unconditional love that children have for their parents, it almost hurts me.  I feel it is such an honour to possess that love, and that we also need to be very careful with these little vulnerable beings who are so forgiving.

I have also learned something else from these exchanges with my children; I deserve forgiveness.

Even though I don't necessarily believe that all of the time, I am learning that everyone does make mistakes for myriad reasons, and that if we are sorry and try to make improvements, we do deserve forgiveness.  However, that forgiveness must also come from within (that's the really hard part!).

If your child can look at you, and really see you, the real you, and give you forgiveness, than surely you can give that gift to yourself as well.

We are always trying to teach our children right from wrong, with the goal of raising good people. That's a great goal isn't it? But there's a little room in there for us parents too! We can become better, to ourselves and our children.